Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Tips on Getting Married and Staying Married

By Donny Yu

If you are in need of marriage advice, chances are that you have begun to encounter problems in your marriage. There are going to be ups and downs in any relationship. This is normal, as well as healthy. Arguments will happen, as it is a lifelike part of communication. However, arguments become a problem when there is no solution to the topics that are brought up.

This is where marriage advice can be extremely useful. By acquisition from the mistakes and efforts of others, you can build your relationship with your partner without having to go through all of the pitfalls many couples have to face. However, pickings advice does not make up for learning the bad lessons the hard way - through experiencing them. As a couple, experiencing the downs of a relationship can forge a stronger adherence between you and your spouse.

Good marriage advice will consist of several things. First, it will not be judgmental. Judgmental advice does no good, as it is biased and condescending. If you try to relay such advice to your spouse, the judgmental attitude will come across, and it will only make the problem worse. In addition to this, the advice will be neutral. It will take no side, and come from a perspective that neither supports or decries either party. Arguments occur because something cannot be agreed upon. Many times, there is truth to both sides of the argument. This can make sorting out the problem very challenging.

Marriage advice can be difficult to accept. As each couple is different, what works for one couple may not work for another. This means that you have to be careful which marriage advice you use in your relationship. What you choose to do for your relationship can have many consequences, among which is potentially divorce. If you're having difficult times with your spouse, you need to carefully consider all aspects of the problem before any advice is accepted.

If you are in a situation where you want to give marriage advice to someone, there is a simple rule that you should try to follow. Don't give advice unless it is asked for. While you may really care for the person you want to give marriage advice to, they may not be receptive to the info you want to give them and opt to ignore you. Worse, some people may become Suffering or insulted by interference when they are not ready to receive help, which can break a friendship.

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