Wednesday, December 3, 2008

How to Deal with Loneliness as a Single Person

By Ada Denis

In our society we have confused the meaning of being alone with feeling alone. Many people have slipped in depression because they feel isolated and alone. The key is to not allow this feeling of loneliness overtake you. It's okay to be alone and not feel alone. The difference is night and day and you will live a much healthier and balanced life.

Step1: Understand that every person will at some point in their life expereince the feeling of loneliness. You do shoulder this by yourself. The good news is that you can deal with loneliness and live contently while being single.

Step2: There is a difference between being alone and feeling alone (lonely). Humans have a natural need to live in community and interdepedence with other people. We need each other. However, being alone simply means no one is around me right now. this can change at any moment.

Step3: Loneliness is basically and foremost a feeling. You can be in a crowded room and still feel lonely but you are not alone. Loneliness is does not neccessarily describe being alone, but rather describes the pain that some experience while being alone.

Step4: You cannot choose if someone will be around you at a given moment but you can choose how you will respond to being alone. This is not an accusation of weakness for feeling lonely at times. What is being addressed is how we should (and should expect) to live on a daily basis.

Step5: Many Single people equate loneliness with singleness as if they just fit together. They do not! Singleness is a time of taking care of you and adding value to your life. This will help you to be a contributor to your relationship once you are attached as oppose to just receiving.

Step6: As a single person, get focused on your purpose, your life's mission. Don't know what that is... Take time to find out and map a specific course toward that goal. Hang around people with similar goals and interest.

Step7: Learn to enjoy your own company. Since most of your single life will be with you. Learn to enjoy who you are. This will also, make you more enjoyable when you are around others. This does not mean become a hermit or avoid people. Remember we do need each other.

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