In online dating, one of the most important tasks next to preparing personal profile is writing the first message to your prospective match. Here is some advise on how to make it well.
Your Choice First of all, you have to be choosy in your selection of potential dates. Remember that you are dealing with enormous pool of people, which renews on a daily basis. Online dating is a failure-proof business, because even if you will not reach candidate A, you will certainly hear from candidate B (or C). Just keep seeking. Moreover, even if you achieve seemingly great progress with one candidate, do not get stuck on it: keep looking. By the time of developing real relationship you better have your own choice, just in case if something will not work out well.
Some challenge In our first message we want to get all attention from the candidate of our choice and, quite often the effect is opposite! How to make our first message attractive and not boastful (nor boring), so we will hear back?
If your call gets ignored, do not give up, never dwell on it, try improving your writing instead. Develop your own style, which makes you feel good about your literary efforts, try to avoid anything which sounds boring. One of the most successful approaches is writing message as a conversation with your addressee.
Key elements Your letter must be written individually for every candidate. People can easily tell generic letters, because they contain everything about the author, and not a word about other person, not a reflection on other persons profile. Therefore, in your first letter, you must mention something from the profile of your addressee. If you are writing to this person, then there better be a reason: what in this individuals profile turned you on? Ask questions and tell a bit about yourself. The purpose of your first letter is to start a dialogue based on common interests.
What to avoidIt is OK to flirt and tease another person in the first letter, but this must be done lightly and kindly. Do not write about sex, dont use sexual terms, dont say that you are a perfect match to this person, a soul mate, etc. You have never met him or her before, so just relax and be nice, the tone of your first message can be almost as if you are introduced to your new colleague at work.
Few more tips If you will not hear back from her (or him), it is quite likely is that your letter was not just good enough. Do not give up, try again and always keep in mind that it is unlikely that you are the only one who is writing to this person. This should encourage you to make your letter outstanding, compelling your candidate to reply! Feel free to add some element of a mystery to your message, ask questions, try to answer them for him, or her. And, if you will succeed and conversation will ensue, never get dragged into a long online exchange, try to move to an offline date as soon as you can, because this is your purpose, this is why you have started all that in the first place!
Your Choice First of all, you have to be choosy in your selection of potential dates. Remember that you are dealing with enormous pool of people, which renews on a daily basis. Online dating is a failure-proof business, because even if you will not reach candidate A, you will certainly hear from candidate B (or C). Just keep seeking. Moreover, even if you achieve seemingly great progress with one candidate, do not get stuck on it: keep looking. By the time of developing real relationship you better have your own choice, just in case if something will not work out well.
Some challenge In our first message we want to get all attention from the candidate of our choice and, quite often the effect is opposite! How to make our first message attractive and not boastful (nor boring), so we will hear back?
If your call gets ignored, do not give up, never dwell on it, try improving your writing instead. Develop your own style, which makes you feel good about your literary efforts, try to avoid anything which sounds boring. One of the most successful approaches is writing message as a conversation with your addressee.
Key elements Your letter must be written individually for every candidate. People can easily tell generic letters, because they contain everything about the author, and not a word about other person, not a reflection on other persons profile. Therefore, in your first letter, you must mention something from the profile of your addressee. If you are writing to this person, then there better be a reason: what in this individuals profile turned you on? Ask questions and tell a bit about yourself. The purpose of your first letter is to start a dialogue based on common interests.
What to avoidIt is OK to flirt and tease another person in the first letter, but this must be done lightly and kindly. Do not write about sex, dont use sexual terms, dont say that you are a perfect match to this person, a soul mate, etc. You have never met him or her before, so just relax and be nice, the tone of your first message can be almost as if you are introduced to your new colleague at work.
Few more tips If you will not hear back from her (or him), it is quite likely is that your letter was not just good enough. Do not give up, try again and always keep in mind that it is unlikely that you are the only one who is writing to this person. This should encourage you to make your letter outstanding, compelling your candidate to reply! Feel free to add some element of a mystery to your message, ask questions, try to answer them for him, or her. And, if you will succeed and conversation will ensue, never get dragged into a long online exchange, try to move to an offline date as soon as you can, because this is your purpose, this is why you have started all that in the first place!
About the Author:
Des has one Ph.D. and one M.S., which are irrelevant to the major subject of his writing: relationships, personals and dating. To contact Des, see his other articles and/or access library of e-books and other materials on online dating, finding your love online, writing personal profiles, meeting singles and keeping strong relationships, or just for joining web dating networks, visit Orbiana Web Dating Directory .
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