Sunday, November 2, 2008

Tactics for Getting What You Want

By Eric Jilson

Many people think that participating in a negotiation is an "all or nothing" event, and that there needs to be a winner and a loser. That's the furthest possible thing from the truth. Although the goal of negotiations is getting what you want or need, the best negotiations use ideas from both players involved.

This article will look at the tactics and tips that top negotiators use to get what they want. You can use these suggestions in almost any negotiation process.

Before the Negotiation

You'll need to think about what you want from the negotiation process. It may make sense to put specific goals down on paper before starting. You should be optimistic. What would be the best possible result? This may be as basic as the other side giving you exactly what you want. You should also come up with other "fall-back" positions that you'd be comfortable accepting. Come up with as many scenarios as possible.

Your next goal is to identify any potential weaknesses that the other player may have. In a real estate deal, for example, one party may know that the other party needs to sell the property or face a crisis. This is valuable information. Finding the other party's weaknesses is important because it will allow you to capitalize on those weaknesses - or at least help both players come to a middle ground.

Something else that you should do - and most people don't - is to come up with a list of reasons why the proposal benefits the other party. You will then bring up the main points of this list during the actual negotiation. Again using the real estate example, one party could argue that its bid for a particular property is more favorable than what others may submit because it is an all-cash offer. The negotiator increases the odds of getting the deal done by pointing out the advantages to both parties.

The Negotiation: In Person

In an ideal situation, both parties would identify their goals and objectives at the beginning of the negotiation. This allows each player to know where the other player stands, and establishes the basis for conversation. Each party may then offer fall-back and counter proposals.

There also are other things that people can do to increase the chance that they will get what they want. Analyzing body language is a good example.

How can you tell if your proposal was received well? Positives will include the other person making direct eye contact and nodding his or her head. Negative signs include the other person folding his or her arms, not making eye contact, or shaking the head.

The Negotiation: On the Phone

You can't see and analyze body language if you do the negotiation on the phone. That means you have to analyze the other player's voice and not his or her body language. Extended pauses usually mean that the other party is hesitant about the deal or is thinking about the offer. Sudden exclamations or a quick response may indicate that the other party is amenable to the proposal. They may just need a little "nudge" to come around to your side.

The Negotiation: By Mail

Negotiations that you do through the mail - like some real estate transactions - are very different from the other types of negotiations. You may find these tips helpful when doing a mail negotiation.

*Words or phrases that are ambiguous may be a signal that the other player is open to a certain proposal. You should look for words like "can," "possibly," or "maybe." If the other party uses a statement like "eagerly awaiting your reply," that may be a sign that they are enthusiastic or optimistic about the proposal.

*See if you can use some of the other party's ideas when they make a counter offer or an initial proposal. That can help seal a deal on the spot. If compromise isn't feasible, suggest other alternatives.

*You will need a formal contract to seal the negotiation. Have an attorney draft the contract after the process is finished. Make certain that this contract is signed in a timely fashion.

No Agreement? No problem.

Leave the way open for future negotiations if you can't reach an agreement in one sitting or one phone call. Schedule further meetings if necessary and possible. Don't worry about seeming overly anxious. Your request for further meetings will suggest that you think a deal can be worked out and you are willing to put in effort to make that possible.

Between negotiations, review what happened during that first meeting. Do you remember any weaknesses for the other player? Did the other party mention any factors like low APR that could help you seal a deal now? Answers to those questions may give you an advantage at any subsequent meetings.

Lastly, remember that it's important to end any meetings on a positive note. You don't want to burn bridges and create a negative situation for the future.

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