No matter how friendly the institution occurs, divorce is a terrible experience. If children are caught in the middle of it all, the experience for them can be even worse. Many times, kids are left feeling as though they have been abandoned and can be marked emotionally for the rest of their lives as a result. A tough divorce can lead to poor emotional health later on in life, including depression and inability to have healthy relationships later.
Whilst divorce grabs the headlines for its financial impact especially on the husband, the human cost far outweighs the financial burden.In a case where children are involved the emotional cost can be severe.Fathers feel removed from their children and find it increasingly difficult to engage with their children and this separation can lead to depression as they try to identify their role as a divorced father.
The mother can often feel trapped and overwhelmed.Whereas previously the burden of rearing children was a shared experience where one partner leaned on the other for support, that safety belt has now been removed and mothers' can feel overstretched to provide the nurture that their children need in this most difficult of times. This often leads to feeling of resentment and misplaced anger.
The biggest human cost must surely be the children who have had no bearing on how the situation has arisen but are nonetheless caught in the crossfire. If the breakdown of the marriage is not an amicable one then the resentment and anger of the parents has a devastating effect on the children who do not possess the maturity our coping skills to deal with this traumatic event.
Many times, kids feel like they are responsible for the parents splitting, which can also have major emotional ramifications. They can be hesitant to develop emotional bonds with other people, have difficulty making friends, and can ultimately feel awkward in social situations.
If the divorce has occurred by one partner being unfaithful to the other then this can leave the other partner with feelings of rejection, mistrust and doubts about self image that often carry on into further relationships. Whilst the unfaithful partner has feelings of guilt they inflict an emotional scar on their loved one that may never heal.
Whilst no-one ever really enters a marriage with the intention of divorce it is a real world reality with one in every three marriages breaking down.The most important factor is that it is done as amicably as possible. There are no winners(apart from lawyers!) in a breakup of a marriage and it is important to be reasonable.
Ultimately, the process of divorce can be emotionally tough but can also be the start of something better for all parties involved, as they may be able to emotionally find someone that better fits their personalities and lives. Remember though that no matter what your marriage looks like, the costs involved with a divorce may be more to bear than the costs of keeping your relationship together.
About the Author:
Infidelity creates a pain like no other. At the Affair Recovery Center we know from experience. We can help you cope with infidelity. Don't suffer another day. Start healing from infidelity right now.
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